Monday, February 24, 2014

Keepin Your Cool and Choosin Your School

Hey! I'm glad you're here joining us for another week of the Women Living Well book club!

Chapter 14 I’m Gonna Blow My Top! I love the quote this chapter starts off with.

                The secret of healthy conflict resolution isn’t taking a you-against-me stance, but realizing it’s all of us against Satan- he’s the real enemy.” Lysa Terkurest

Ever been there? Your frustration gets the best of you and you find yourself yelling at your children. Again. We’ve all been there. It’s easy to lose our temper with our children at times. Frustration is a daily emotion we moms have to battle. Why won’t they listen?.... I just want some peace around here! …We’re running late, and you lost your shoes again?! ….Why do you always have to fight with each other?  We feel the weight of running a home, caring for kids, balancing the checkbook and cooking, cleaning, laundering- all part of an unending list. At times the emotions just boil over and we respond to our kids in less than kind tones.

We so easily get the battle confused, we end up fighting our comrades rather than the enemy. It is not a battle between us and the little ones. We are on the same side. We know this in our minds.  It is a spiritual battle fought in the heart. To be fought alongside our family and against Satan. 

He wants you to see your children as the problem. He wants you to feel justified in using unkind words and a harsh tone. He wants you to believe you deserve well behaved kids, to be on time, to have peace and quiet. He doesn’t want you to see your selfish motives that creep out in daily life.  Most of all, Satan doesn’t want you to guide your children down the path towards relationships with God.

So when we find ourselves steaming from the ears during a long day and reacting rather than acting right, let’s be honest with ourselves and call it what it is. Sin. There, I said it. That’s actually the only way to freedom. If it is my fault, I am the one who can change it. The ball is in my court and I get to choose how to deal with it. Oh! But how to change! It’s so hard!

The good news is that God doesn’t leave us hanging here, girls.  He gives us very practical, doable steps.

Ephesians 4:20-24 Put off the old self, be made new in the attitude of your mind, and put on the new self

Ephesians 4:29-32 Use no unwholesome words, instead, use words that are helpful and build up
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger and be kind, compassionate and forgiving

Galatians 5:22-23 Grow the fruits of the spirit: patience, kindness, gentleness

Romans 12:2   Be transformed by renewing your mind

Galatians 6:9 Do not grow weary in doing good, remember that this will all be worth it in the future

So next time you feel frustration welling up inside, stop yourself. Mentally put off the selfish desire in your heart. Pray and ask God to help you put on gentleness. Kindness. Patience. Ask Him to help you make your words helpful and kind to your little ones. Most of all, don’t grow weary. It will be worth the work and time you are putting in. Then do this over and over and over. Repetition renews the mind.

Ch 15 Schools of Thought There are many different choices in schooling your children. And I am a firm believer that there is not one way that every family should choose. In fact, we did not choose only one for our family. We have sent our children to Christian school, public school and have homeschooled. Why did we switch? In each season of our life, we chose the best school arrangements for our children considering certain criteria. The criteria we used to make our decision included the location we lived, the job my husband had and our goals for our children.

No matter how you school your children, it is work. You are still the parent. You are still ultimately responsible for them before God. It is your job to be sure they are learning all they need to, academically and spiritually. You cannot count on the Christian school to teach all the biblical knowledge your children need. You cannot count on the public school to teach them all the phonics they need. And in homeschooling you are solely responsible for it all, but you can tailor each subject for each individual child. There are benefits and drawbacks to any of the choices. So choose the one that fits your family the best.

I personally loved homeschooling because it provided an awesome opportunity for to really build strong relationships with my kids, especially in the younger years. It provided opportunities for my kids to learn self-discipline, time to work on hobbies, and freedom to go to the jobsite with their dad, or to lunch with Grandma.  Things we would not have had time to do if they were in school all day.

Schooling is not really the issue. It is a necessity in the midst of training and teaching them. As a mom, the main goal to filter all decisions through is raising them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind. Raising our kids is serious business and there is no room for fighting over which schooling option is better than the other. So no matter where your kids learn phonics or algebra, lets join forces and pray for those kiddos. There is a battle for their souls raging all around them no matter where they take their spelling test or eat lunch. Let’s lift them up in prayer every day so they will have the spiritual strength to fight the good fight.



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