I do not have one of those super-cool, tear-jerker, emotional testimonies. Mine is rather… well, boring. I came to Christ at the age of 6. No “big” sin to turn from. No dramatic change, just a young heart answering God’s call on a cold wintry night.I have always rather envied those with exciting, dramatic stories of leaving a life of sin and clinging to the hope of a Risen Savior. They love Him much, you can see it in their teary eyes as they share their story. According to Matthew 7:27, they love much because they have been forgiven much.
Does this mean that I have no hope of loving God much? Does it mean I will never know the passion that intense love brings? Sadly, this is what I assumed for years. I believed that that kind of love was just something I would never have.But as I reflect on sin and forgiveness and more specifically my own sin and need of forgiveness, I realize it is really not about the amount or depth of sin but more of a matter of understanding how filthy our sin really is. Just one little “white lie” is dark enough to separate me from the God of the Universe for all eternity. Sin is sin and no matter the amount, it leaves us in a condition of hopelessness.
Do I realize just how priceless God’s forgiveness is? Do I realize the depth to which I do not deserve it? Do I realize the extent that I deserve hell? Do I realize how my sin is a direct affront to God? Wrapping my mind around this truth can only leave me in one posture. On my knees. Loving Him, praising Him, thanking Him. This love is in direct proportion to the amount we feel indebted to Christ. It doesn’t come from the amount of sin forgiven, but the knowledge of the ramifications of that sin.He did not leave me as I was- a sinner in need of a Savior. Christ, my Knight in Shining Armor, rescued me by taking the blame, the shame, the pain for me. I am a sinner saved by grace, left with a heart of gratitude. What a blissful place to be. Loving my Lord, the Savior of my soul.