Skip to main content


Ahhhh! A warmish sunny Sunday afternoon in November. It had been weeks since I had been able to go for a walk outside, and winter would soon set in; I grabbed a jacket and a notebook and headed out the door. The sun quickly slipped behind a few clouds, but the fresh air felt good anyway. I climbed down some rocks to walk along the river; it is one of my favorite places to be. The river and the sound of the waves seem to quiet my soul and allow for reflection in my heart.

The sun was still hiding and with the air chilling, I slipped in a request for the rays to warm me. I continued to walk along the water, lifting my heart to God, seeking wisdom in trials I was facing and praising Him for the beauty around me. Again, I asked for the sun to shine. The walk did not seem “right” with out it. The sun just does something for me, warming my soul along with my skin. Getting chilled, I progressed from asking and began to whine. “Lord, let the sun shine…. Why won’t you let it shine now?...You’re the One in charge of those clouds… You can move them….just move them… I want sun!....I need the sun…” I tried to sound more pitiful than demanding, but I felt I deserved the sun after a particularly long and busy month.

I sat on a large log and got out my notebook to journal, but no words came. No inspiration. Even the previous reflections vanished as I stared… no, glared at the clouds covering up the sun. The wind picked up and with the chill setting in even stronger, I gave up and headed home. “Well, God, if you’re not going to warm me with the sun, then I’m going home.” It felt as if, once again, God had not come through for me. Feelings of self pity began to wash over me, leaving me feeling alone in the world with no one to count on. (I do know this all sounds rather petty and childish, bear with me though.) It was a classic Elisha moment – you know, like sitting under a weed pouting after winning the Battle of the Prophets.

Within just a few minutes I felt the warmth on my back and arms. The clouds had moved. I had given up too early. I felt God say “You need to wait on My timing. I am in charge, not you. I am the One holding the big picture. You need to trust Me. Trust that I am at work in your life. Don’t run ahead of Me.” Immediately, I felt childish for my little game of “If you’re not going to play my way, I’m taking my toys and going home.” God’s waiting was not without purpose. Just who, exactly, did I think I was? And just who did I think I was dealing with? Repentance was in order.

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face the sun. With eyes closed, I basked in the warmth and comfort it brought. I thanked Him for the sun. Upon opening my eyes, it seemed the rest of the sky had dimmed. Was a storm coming? Had it gotten later than I thought? But nothing had changed except the focus of my eyes. By comparison, everything else around me had dimmed.

I love how God will use a walk and childish behavior to illustrate my need for Him and Him alone. It is so easy to get caught up in all the busyness and “urgencies” of life. It’s so easy to buy the lie that my life is all about me. But, when the Son shines on my face, and I turn to bask in His light, everything else fades in comparison. The more I have of Him, the more He shines in my life, the more I want. More of Him, less of this world… and less of this me.

In Hot Pursuit,



Popular posts from this blog

Announcing Another Litle Girl

What a new newborn does to a person! I’m in love. *sigh* Papa and I were able to spend almost a week with this new sweet-one when she was newborn.   Introducing Little Miss Alaya Jane . Isn’t. she. just. adorable? She’s my little Peanut. We’ve had 3 new granddaughters in the past 10 months – which makes a total of 5 little girls in 2 ½ years, and we are loving it! You can catch up on the first 4, Sweet Pea, Chickadee, Honey Bee, and Squirt, in the archives. (I'm having difficulty with linking to certain posts at the moment.) Oh, how the grace of God is so faithful! We have been reflecting on how proud we are of how our kids have grown to be adults who love God and married spouses who follow Him too. To see them start families and train their little ones to live to “make Jesus happy” – to put it in toddler terms. This leaves this Papa and Mama so happy… and humble. We weren’t perfect parents. We tried to be good parents, but often fell short. We are so thankf

3 Reasons Nursery Workers Rock

After being out of town for 2 Sundays in a row, I was looking forward to being back home in “my” church with my church family again. Then I noticed the nursery schedule .   It was my turn.   After I had just taught Sunday school. I fought the whine welling up inside. I had missed the fellowship and theological discussions in our adult class and now I would miss the message again... for the 3rd week in a row. Grabbing my things, I headed back to the bright nursery room to do the job required of me. As I began to talk with the toddlers and preschoolers, I was reminded in my heart that nursery work is important work . These are little souls who need cared for while their parents are fed from the Word. Nursery time isn’t just about keeping kids corralled; it is the first phase of ministry .   The time spent with those little ones builds relationships that bring godly influence into their lives. Once I changed my attitude, I actually enjoyed my time with those little smi

The Deisres Of My Heart

Whew! October…what a crazy month! It’s always a crazy month for me, requiring extra hours at work. Add to that having just moved to a new home and starting a children’s clothing shop with my girls… and this year October felt like a marathon! Not that I really know what a marathon feels like. Since I absolutely do not run. At all. But I can only imagine …. It feels good to have that crazy month over and turn a new page on the calendar. In my bible studying lately, I have become mesmerized by the Exodus. And the Wilderness. The Israelites were in bondage for 400 years. That’s a long time. Hard work that only got harder. Slavery that only got more oppressive. And then, in one evening, they were free. Free! What must that have felt like? No more harsh foremen. No more beatings. No more gathering straw. No more making bricks. Free. Take a deep breath…. Ahhh! That’s the smell of freedom. But like a new car, freedom doesn’t keep that new smell for long. They missed the good old